Who hasn’t felt anxious or nervous? When that gurgling sound rumbles from your belly, the shaking hands, the hot flush that waves across your face, the beating heart picking up rhythm at the most inopportune time? Today was one of those days for me. Life changes are exciting and terrifying all at the same time.
Fear is just anxiety of the unknown. I prefer to live in the mind set that life is an adventure and this type of feeling will accompany that from time to time. What do I do with this feeling? I choose to acknowledge this feeling rather than shy away from it. I choose to embrace and honor this feeling that makes me human. Like anger, sadness, sorrow, it all serves a purpose. It does not have to be who we are but a part of us. Otherwise, we walk through life and nothing phases us. We would be a pretty boring species with uneventful lives. The blood jet of these experiences can be motivating to explore the things that make us feel certain ways. We are alive!
Fight, freeze or flee. These are normal responses to fear and anxiety. It’s built in alarm system. What are you waking up to? I am waking up to a big change in my life. I am waking up to old feelings in a new situation. We can work through feelings a thousand times and there will still be something that stimulates them all over again. My “antsy pantsy” is about something very important to me.
Not all fear or anxiety comes from situations that are dangerous or life threatening. It’s important for me to continue on even though the easy route would be to flee. If I take an opportunity to “freeze”, BREATHE and look around, that’s not always a bad thing to see where the flow is moving before I make a choice. These moments define who we are. Challenging ourselves in the face of adverse feelings is important to our human spirit. What do we have to lose? The only thing I see having to lose is an incredible life experience if I run back in the house because it’s “storming outside”. I might miss the smell of fresh rain when it hits the warm asphalt or being able to jump around in the puddles. Those moments make me realize that the thing I was so anxious about, can be my new favorite thing.
What do you do when you’re feeling Antsy Pantsy? Share your stories with us at www.facebook.com/CrayonColorOfTheDay
From my crayon colored heart I thank you for joining me once again. See you next time! -Teresa
Every day is a good day for stretching. Stretching is good for flexibility. When I woke up today, I extended my arms and legs and let the circulation wake up the muscles of my mind and body that had been “asleep”. I let the sensations pull through my core and was aware of the muscles and parts of my body being effected. I almost felt like I couldn’t stretch out far enough. That first deep breath let me know today I am alive! The stretches that followed throughout my day only served to enhance my state of being.
Putting this into perspective I thought about ways to stretch my mind. What frame of mind am I in? Where are my thoughts? What is my perspective and why? How flexible am I and what should I meditate on to become more flexible to situations and people in my life? I decided to stretch again.
Just as stretching reduces muscle tension in the body, it reduces the stress of everyday life. As it increases the range of motion in my joints, it increases my ability to be flexible in my day to day life. As it increases energy levels in my body, the stretching of my mind allows me to access the positive energy and perspective there. All the things acting together, working together to create a more vigorous me.
Have you taken the time to stretch today? What are the benefits you find in stretching? Come share your stories with us at www.facebook.com/CrayonColorOfTheDay
Thank you from the bottom of my crayon colored heart for joining me in this space again today. I will see you next time!
Brightest blessings, Teresa
Today I am Oh So Me! Every day is a blessing to be who I am and every day is a blessing to be just who you are.
I am blessed with imperfections that challenge me daily. In those moments the choices I make define who I am. I am fragile, I am sturdy, I am weak and I am strong. I have a crooked nose and crooked teeth that are unique to me and me alone. I have a muffin top that I have invested good food in and enjoyed every single delicious, fattening bite. I have a few wrinkles that define the laughter and sorrows of my experiences which remind me of all the moments I am grateful to have lived through. I have a laugh that gets on my nerves sometimes and I’ve been known to talk with an overabundance of enthusiasm. I am passionate about life’s possibility. Sometimes my voice cracks when I’m nervous. I am not a professional singer. I will sing like a rock star anyway holding my hairbrush with commitment and presentation. I do not limit my musical choices. I relish in all cultures and faiths. I enjoy meeting new people and learning more about my world and the people on it. I love my family and friends for who they are. I dance when the spirit moves me. I collect fairies of all kinds. Earl Grey is my favorite tea. The scent of something baking in my oven is soothing to me. I go grocery shopping in my comfy pajamas sometimes. My socks don’t always match. I’ve talked with food in my teeth and probably will again. I love you broccoli! I don’t always handle situations well and I try to learn from them. I have freckles that I tried to “bleach” off when I was younger. I adore those special marks because I can play a game of connect the dots when applying my make up. I have several scars on my leg from surgeries and my lady bits were taken out to keep me alive. I will never bear children and yet I am a creator of many things in my life that I birth out into the world. As for the scars on my leg, there was a short period in elementary school that they bothered me due to the chiding of other children. As I got older the stories of shark attacks and railroad stunts provided hours of entertainment for me and often enjoyed the look of surprise when I came forth with the truth. Will I ever have plastic surgery? No way! They are a daily reminder and walk in gratitude that I can walk today. For that matter my small boobs are just the right size for me! Humor is a survival tool I have used in my life that keeps my spirit alive. Humor is important in getting through the rough patches in the road when I make a mistake, act impulsively or just downright make a choice that provides a challenging learning experience. I am not a perfect person by any means and I am a work in progress. I am a virtual construction zone and work is always being done. I am a structure of the universe built with amazing particles, elements and chemical processes to give me the very life I have. It’s a magical and wonderlicious thing to be me! It a magical and wonderlicious thing for you to be who you are. You are beautiful just the way you are to me.
I am grateful for every moment, every heartbreak, every mistake, every joy, every tear of frustration, every shout of anger, every accomplishment, every healing moment, every epiphany, every dream come true because I made a choice. I made a choice to interact and be a part of the world around me. I make a choice to be the best me I can be. I am so much more but we might be here a while. Thank you for making it this far!
Who are you? Come share your stories with us! www.facebook.com/CrayonColorOfTheDay
Thanks for taking the time to stop by and I will see you again soon!
Brightest blessings, Teresa
Hello my fellow crayon colored hearts! I hope this entry finds you all living a life of enjoyment and possibility. Currently I am going through a few life changes that are, at the same time, exciting, full of anticipation.
Let’s first look at the words for today’s crayon color and what they mean. I used Dictionary.com as my reference.
Vision [vizh-uh n] noun There are a variation of definitions and I will be referring to the definition as a vivid, imaginative conception or anticipation. Example: visions of success and new life experiences.
Believe [bihleev] verb To have confidence in the truth, the existence, or the reliability of something, although without absolute proof that one is right in doing so: Example: Only if one believes in something can one act purposefully.
Act [akt] verb To produce an effect; perform a function. Example: I will act to make it so.
It’s important to have dreams and to dream of something bigger than what you are doing now. Having dreams doesn’t mean you are searching for glory or or dreaming of a monetarily posh lifestyle. Though it’s natural to have those dreams too. For me, my dreams have always been about doing well enough so I can do for others. I have been given so much in my life that I am eternally grateful for. I am also grateful for the opportunities in my life where I’ve worked and will work hard. They teach me many lessons. I want to have an opportunity to help others as I have been helped. The cycle becomes stagnant if it stops with me. This is just part of my own unique vision.
A vision board is an important tool in my life. I vision more possibility in my life. By updating my vision board, dusting it off and placing new focus points, I am breathing new life once again to possibility. My vision board is a sacred place to put images and words to my dreams. For me, dreams are goals. I believe in them. I make sure to place things that I can do something about now and the big things that I can see everyday to act in accord to place into action.
What things are you doing that put your own dreams into motion?
“Dream lofty dreams, and as you dream, so shall you become. Your vision is the promise of what you shall one day be; your ideal is the prophecy of what you shall at last unveil.” – James Allen
Thank you again for stopping by! See you again soon!
The world spins around on its axis and around the sun like it always has. Time tick-tock’s by at the same speed for all of us and yet, by perspective, it’s all relative. Some days feel much longer than others. There are times when I feel like I am simply going from one thing on my schedule to the next in a daze and before I know it, it’s the end of the week. Then, with natural intrigue, I have to wonder where in the hell the time went.
In those spaces of time, I can feel like a drone, just passing through my own life. Going to work and moving through the motions. Clock out. Drive home, and realize pulling in the driveway that I may not have remembered all the details of the journey home. Wash. Rinse. Repeat. How does this happen? How did I end up like Joe in Joe vs. the Volcano? Just following the masses, working my ass off and I am just a “suit” trying to pay my bills. I’m more than that though. We all are.
Recently I was feeling extremely overwhelmed. Thinking about my “karma garbage” and choices I’ve made in the past that put these outcomes into motion. This really affected my ability to think out of the box or have the energy to even stand on it. It hurt my head as I struggled for inspiring ideas creatively. I was really struggling to find a way energetically to engage in my pursuit of doing something different. Motivational quotes in my facebook feed telling me that in short, I could do it. My vision board sitting on the wall above my desk began to collect dust and I began to question myself. I’ve always seen myself as a positive person with big ideas. I don’t think that those inspirations came without reason. I believe I’ve always been meant to do something with it, yet finding the right platform has always been an adventure.
So on Halloween this year, I found myself needing to get my car inspected, plates renewed, oil changed and get my car ready for the winter months ahead. For that matter I had been procrastinating the sparkle and shine provisions to my car. I went to the dealership figuring out how to be penny savvy, when the gentleman comes over to tell me that because I’ve had my car for 3 years I get this certificate that will cover the expense for all of it. WHAT? Come again? Oh my stars! Where did that come from? How cool is that? Thank you universe because it feels like my birthday. To top it off, they also tell me that I have a certificate to get my car completely detailed. Ok, what’s the catch? The gentleman was right, absolutely nothing. This guy, this dealership, never had to tell me because I didn’t even know about them. I could have had all the work done and paid for it. Here was this gift, this treasure of a moment in my life that brought a renewed sense of hope in my world and for big business. I couldn’t help but feel like the universe gifted me a few “Karma credits”. Gratitude washed over me and through me.
At work the day before, I made the decision to talk to my boss about a few things that had been concerning me. For months I was feeling like I hadn’t been heard. Knowing I wasn’t the only one feeling that way, but I felt I needed to speak for myself. I came out of that meeting feeling grateful that my boss took the time to really hear what I had to say, considered my ideas and wanted to put some of those ideas back into practice. Will these things really happen? Who knows, but for now at least I think I was heard. The day after Halloween I went back to work. To my surprise I am called back into the office and presented with a pretty gift bag holding a gift certificate for a nearby spa.
Life has a funny way of giving you a push at the right time, unexpectedly. From time to time I find myself questioning my ability to put this Crayon Color of the Day project out there in a way that touched people, connected in some way to anyone who comes across it. That’s just the part of me that slips through the cracks of my confidence from time to time. The other day I signed in to my email for my website to find messages from people confiding things to me, this total stranger to them. Telling me how posts they found on facebook or here at tumblr really spoke to them. It more or less floored me because I don’t have a lot of people “following” me yet. I can’t begin to tell you what these emails meant to me. So here I am, telling you all of this because I want each and every one of you out there to know something. Don’t give up on yourself. We all have a purpose. As for Karma, the following as effect from cause, I encourage you all to have faith in the good things you do in life. Don’t let yourself feel defeated too long.
My vision board that had been collecting dust also told me a secret today. As I looked at it, wondering what new life I needed to color it with, it told me it had taken on a life of it’s own. There was my picture of a clean car (I put up as a motivator to actually clean mine LOL), a woman getting a massage, and the outline for my website. Three very particular things having come to fruition. Surreal. The universe has a wonderful and magical way of telling us things are going to be just fine.
I am grateful today for each and every one of you that have joined me in this space today. You are all wonderful, beautiful and worthy!
From my crayon colored heart to yours, Teresa
I love days that feel like sunshine is about to burst from every pore in my body! When everything feels possible and nothing seems out of reach.
As the light inside builds, pulses and swells there is a surge sparking under my skin. The symphony of the surrounding world sets the stage for my jovial heart to play on. Nothing is awkward and everything is ridiculous enjoyment for the free spirit I am today. Laughter is the continuous echo as I look on each new situation with vision through the fresh eyes of a child. Curiosity is a dear friend in life that I want to have over for afternoon tea, that I want to run through the woods with, that I want to build things with and that I always want to remember to call on every day. I would rather be amused by life instead of being jaded by it. I choose to dance in the aisle at the grocery store (I’m a sucker for 80’s tunes), sing at the top of my lungs in the car (yes, that was probably my crazy self you were laughing at sitting at the traffic light), talk and smile to strangers while I’m waiting to cross a street, stop and smell the flowers on display at the craft store (just because), and just let myself travel this grain of sand in the universe with the knowledge that life is meant to be lived.
Light the match inside and see what happens.
Love and lighters from the bottom of my crayon colored heart!
Art by Laurel Whiker found at Mountain Lights on Lexington Avenue in Asheville, NC
Have you ever been smacked in the head by a hummingbird? Up until this evening, this scenario would be merely nothing more than an entertaining thought to me.
The sun was well into it’s decent off the horizon as the moon lifted like a lantern in the night sky. Melancholy breezes drifted by carrying with them the tease of autumn and thoughts of baked pecan pie and warm chocolate-cherry-nut cookies to stuff my face with. I also happened to be over contemplating something that has been challenging me recently. The settling moonlight strung shadows that hopped from surface to surface and back again. This effect can influence the mind to think there is something much bigger out there than what really is. This would be a direct side effect of watching all the episodes of “The Walking Dead” Season 1, back to back. Every twig falling from the trees and every leaf shuffled about on the wind had me tuning in even closer for the grunting and moaning of the coming zombiepocalypse.
I heard a strong buzzing sound coming close. Thinking it was a bee or wasp coming to feed on one of the many hanging baskets of fuchsia’s we have around our front porch, I was startled when something much bigger smacked into the side of my head. Part of my imagination began to spaz out while my body followed suit, whipping my arms around in the air and stomping around like I had clown shoes on my feet. Did I mistake a bat for a bee? Then I glanced over to one of the hanging baskets to see that little hummingbird, like nothing ever happened, feeding greedily on one of the tasty flower blossoms.
That hummingbird triggered off a rapid fire of thoughts. Mostly, nature just acts around whatever is happening and then moves on to the next scene without another thought, doing what it does. My heart was still racing from the excitement of the surprise encounter and there it was, just feeding. If I hadn’t let my imagination get the better of me, that encounter might have turned out more respectable on my end without the Bozo dance on my front porch.
How often in life do I think about things with an unknowing expectation? How many more times do those expectations end up in the irrational zone? It’s good to daydream. It’s good to imagine. Sometimes mother nature just likes to smack you on the head. I like to believe this is her way of waking me up with a sense of humor and reminding me not to take myself so seriously all the time.
Thanks from the bottom of my crayon colored heart for tuning in! See you next time ♥
This color was more of a Crayon Color of the last week. The idea followed me around like a little kid trying not to get lost from its mother in a large crowd.
Invention. It’s a word we all know and love. An imagination on the loose with the right resources can lead to what would otherwise be impossible inventions. Those inventions grow in the womb of creativity and give birth to the finished product or idea, otherwise known as “your baby”. As we would nurture a child, we also nurture our “baby”. When we care about it, it can develop onto something with incredible possibility and lead a life of its own. Inventing and conceptualizing and leading to more inventing. It’s a magical web and when tended to can make an exciting thing to be a part of.
We all have dreams and ideas. I have had many dreams through the years. Resources were always there but I neglected them. Like you need to have faith in a child, you need to have faith in “your baby”. I lost faith in and neglected some of my “babies”. Recently I became inspired with an idea the universe no longer allows me to ignore. I paved the road with previous attempts and they are here now, screaming to be fed. I made a decision that I would no longer neglect my “baby”, and have faith in my skills to let it become what it will be, and let it be what it will be. As long as I do the work required, hold its hand and who knows what it will one day become to invent, conceptualize and invent all over again.
Are you ignoring your babies? Believe in them like they believe in you.
Brightest blessings to you from the bottom of my crayon colored heart.
Me and my ego-pride-arrogance. A friend recently wrote a blog about the ego of the author. After reading it, I realized I was already thinking about my own ego before I reached the end. That blog and its ideas have been floating around me the last couple of days.
Many people will describe ego in assorted terms and acronym associations. I’ve heard everything from “Easing God Out”, “Edging God Out”, “Eyes Glaze Over”, “Engineering Change Order”, to one that tends to make me giggle, “Evil Genius Organization”. If you start looking to define ego, you will find a plethora of studies, opinions and explanations. It can be overwhelming to think of ego in that many terms when you begin to explore external resources as you are exploring internal discourses. In basic terms, the word “ego” is Latin for “I”, meaning the self. So this is a good thing, right? I acknowledge myself. Who knew I would open up Ego-pocalypse on myself as I begin to explore this? I did, and I will carry on anyway.
I can say without a doubt, that I am proud of my accomplishments. My self worth is not defined by my accomplishments, but it feels good to know that there is a self-validation of potential. Having pride in oneself gives an opinion of self dignity. When arrogance enters the picture it changes everything. There is a delicate line, a tight rope, between all these terms, but arrogance leaves no room to change. How can I grow if in my arrogance I see any accomplishment or idea as the “be all and end all”? Where is my flexibility?
I once heard the saying, “Humility before humiliation”. In my life I have made some pretty bad choices when it came to making points, relationships, and career because I was too arrogant. When we are young we can be strong willed, another term on the delicate tight rope. As many have experienced, this forced us to lie to ourselves in the face of truth whether we knew what we were actually doing then or not. How humiliating when we can no longer deny truth before us!
The last couple of days, I really wanted to focus on ways to keep this in check as I venture into new creative territory. I want to be successful with my ideas. I do not want to let ego dictate to my pride that I have room for arrogance. This is not successful thinking. The colors of my life are many, and I hope this encourages you to look at the colors within yourself. When we meet on the street, we’ll meet with Easy Going Open-mind’s.
Brightest blessings from my crayon colored heart to yours.
If you want to check out Travis Shortt’s blog I was referencing here is the link: http://travisshortt.wordpress.com/2012/08/30/author-ego-self-confidence-or-self-destruction/
Sitting in my comfy chair at 3 o’clock in the afternoon, I realized today was a day I would continue shuffling around in my pajamas. The outside world can have a day without me. I’m sure that it too, will carry on.
Time ticked by and my enthusiasm for completing anything was greatly subdued by my enthusiasm for being absolutely untethered to anything more than perusing around online, making cups of Earl Grey tea, napping on a whim, and watching the moth keep smacking into that same spot on the ceiling while my cat stalks it from my lap thinking she can actually jump that high.
I adore days like this from time to time. I don’t have to have a grand plan filled with things to do or not to do. No list of places I could be other than the place I want to be, at home with the world at my fingertips. It’s amazing how you can go from looking at beloved mass dorkery on ThinkGeek.com and end up on a Wikipedia article about Tamil. Did you know that Tamil is a language spoken by a majority of people in Tamil Nadu, an official language of Singapore and was the first to be declared a classical language by the government of India? Me either! That’s just the kind of thing that happens to me on days like this. Captivating, I know.
I spent time on the social media playground “climbing the monkey bars” at Twitter and “swinging on a tire” at facebook before heading off to Tumblr for some “virtual scrapbooking”. Technology is a wonderful thing. I’m grateful that I can be “social” on a day I decide not to leave the house. I can be “social” on a day where possible bad breath is not an issue, my tangled messy hair and my overall disheveled appearance will not be offending to unsuspecting passers by.
The moth finally made it’s way out the front door to the ultimate displeasure of my cat. As for the napping, my cat had no problem sprawling out over my feet and I should have had the Earl Grey after, not before. This day was still a super win and I will do it again soon.
Thanks for stopping by and brightest blessings from the bottom of my crayon colored heart!
Cupcake says it’s nap time. Then I can play online again later ;)
Do you ever have times in your life when you feel like the point of view comes from standing on your head all day? Where everything looks right side up only it’s really upside down?
I made a note to myself a few days ago to shake up the world I live in and discover the hidden gems. Life has funny ways of manifesting such requests! As I’ve gone through one thing to the next on my “to do” list, my world view is upside down. For that matter, when did I suddenly have rollerblades attached to my head? Full speed ahead!
I remember when I was younger, doing handstands against the wall in my bedroom. If I stared at the ceiling long enough, I could almost imagine myself walking on it. One day while I was visiting my grandmother, I used one of her handheld mirrors and placed it under my chin. As I walked around looking only at the mirror, I found myself “stepping over” door frames and feeling a little elated as I daydreamed of living in a discombobulated world. I imagined traveling through space, where gravity and equilibrium was shifted. From time to time, my giddy, crayon colored heart seemed to float away with the very idea of living in a world paralleled to Baron Munchausen’s.
On days like today, I try to remember to have fun while everything seems flipped upside down. Today it seemed like everything I got done seemed to fall out of view from the things I needed to get done and almost felt like nothing was getting done! The detours I took to get from one detail to the next didn’t exactly follow the calculated route on the map. I must have looked a silly mess trying to balance my coffee while riding around town with rollerblades on my head and my feet flailing in the air.
I try to remember that just because my order ended up disorderly, it’s survivable. At the end of the day I can take the rollerblades off at the door, and stand on my feet again.
Brightest blessings from my crayon colored heart to yours!
Yeah, this kinda sums up my point of view today ;)
Do you ever crave a sugar coated day? On those days when things don’t seem to go as planned and you wish you were not where you are standing? On those days when your big plan doesn’t feel like it’s going to be anything at all other than a “big plan”, a pipe dream? On those days where everything you’re thinking gets lost along the way to your voice and what comes out sounds nothing like the beautiful symphony orchestra you’ve imagined? On those days where you feel like your connection is about 3 clicks off? On those days when you can’t seem to find enough time to finish everything you set out to do? On those days where you feel caught in a conversation that is not going in the expected direction? On and on and on it goes.
I’ve had those days and will have more of them in my lifetime. Sometimes life doesn’t taste as sweet, but if we enjoy the bitterness for what it is then we can embrace its beauty. I’m trying to find the passion in every experience because I learn a little more about myself every day. Maybe bitter isn’t so bad sometimes. Pucker up!
There is a story called “The Vinegar Tasters”. I can’t remember where I first heard this story, however, it’s a story that I think about when I find myself in the middle of a “bitter” experience. It’s a story about Confucius, Buddha and Lao Tzu. When the three men taste the vinegar they have different reactions to the taste. Confucius sees the vinegar as sour, Buddha sees the vinegar as bitter and Lao Tzu sees the vinegar as fundamentally good in its natural state.
As the perfectionist I can be, I like to see myself in the perfect response of accepting times for what they are. This is not always so. I am on a wonderful adventure in this life attempting to embrace and appreciate every moment. I try to appreciate the learning experience that is presented before me. Most of the time, the appreciation comes later, after a “bitter” situation. When the taste buds of life have time to settle down, the sense of a situation doesn’t seem as overwhelming to me. Everything seems to work out the way it needs to and my perspective tends to evolve. My awareness evolves. I am grateful for this as each moment passes in my life and I continue on my journey with a little more knowledge than I had in the moment before it.
I hope this plants a seed of hope in your own life in those bitter moments you find yourself stuck in. Thank you for taking the time to read what I’ve posted and brightest blessings!
The Vinegar Tasters